Back at the café, there’s a lot going on at once: Mo gets a phone call from the hospital confirming her appointment for two o’clock, Colm gets a text from Caitríona demanding his presence, and Fiach wanders in to insert himself in the middle of things. Mo tells Colm he should go see what nonsense Caitríona wants, but he’s hesitant to leave her, especially now that Fiach is buzzing around. He leaves and Fiach immediately plops himself down in his place and starts asking Mo to once again play go-between with Jennifer, who’s still refusing to speak to him. Based on everything I have ever seen of Jennifer, I am unclear why getting the silent treatment from her is a bad thing, really. Mo is hesitant, but eventually she gives in, possibly because she cares about him/her/them but probably also to make him stop whining about this.
Tony arrives at the radio station for some reason, but Sonia is the only one there, and she’s busy broadcasting her show, Pinafores, Homophobia, & Helicopter Parenting with Sonia. Frances pops in and says he’ll have to come back later, but he explains that he’s just here to request a special song for Berni. For his sake, we hope it’s “Thank You for Being a Friend,” the theme from Friends, or “That’s What Friends Are For.” This leads to a strangely detailed discussion about today’s radio technology, including the way the station’s Large Hadron Collider converts text messages into gamma rays and then beams them directly into David’s head or similar. Of course Tony stopped paying attention about two words into this conversation and says he’ll come back later, so the important thing is that we will have to wait until later for Tony to propose to Berni while DJ Sonia romantically plays “Luka” just for her.
A colloquium on the future of radio has broken out in Caitríona’s living room, which mostly consists of her and Sonia sniping at each other while Colm wishes he were somewhere else. Caitríona tells Sonia she listened to her show earlier and didn’t like it, pointing out that if she had been doing it, she would’ve researched it better and included more “facts,” such as “other people’s opinions.” Buh? As for tonight’s show, Caitríona sternly tells her to stick to the script, and then tells her above all she needs to remember to thank the show’s sponsor, which we assume is one of the many local businesses we have come to love, such as Daly Family DNA Testing Inc. or Discount Cow Suppositories & Sons. Sonia is all, “Yeah, yeah, bite my ass” and so on, and Colm appears to be wishing he were anywhere else in the world right now, although he’d feel differently if he knew his other option was to be over at the pub listening to Fiach and Jennifer argue. Caitríona announces that they need to fill Bobbi Lee’s timeslot, which we guess means she went off on the 3-week cruise after all, and informs Colm that he’s going to be doing a second financial show. How much money advice from an ex-con does one town need?
There’s a really nice scene at the pub between Tadhg and Mo in which he expresses his conviction that she’s going to get good news today, and then Colm arrives to pick her up. Jennifer and Fiach, who are holding hands under a rainbow made of hearts now, wish Mo the best, and she looks distractedly into the middle distance, which is where all the biggest threats and opportunities lurk in this town.
Tony emerges from jazzercise class at the community center, clearly having worked hard for the money, and Mack razzes him gently. Tony announces that he’s taking this exercise thing very seriously because he wants to look good for Berni, and Gráinne awkwardly chimes in that he should be doing it for himself, not for someone who will be breaking up with him in the next ten minutes, just hypothetically of course. Tony responds pitifully that there’s no reason to get healthy for himself, and then adds that his muscles won’t be all he surprises Berni with later. Mack and Gráinne assume he’s talking about, err, Little Tony, whereas we know he’s talking about that engagement ring he got last episode, and frankly, we’re not sure which of those two things we want to see him waving around less.
Back at the hospital, Noreen has gone off to punch a nurse or has spontaneously combusted from rage or whatever, and in her absence it seems Imelda has helped John Joe get dressed, including putting him in his freshly ironed underpants. They joke around a lot and it’s very sweet, and then Noreen interrupts their tender moment, having returned from the pharmacy with his prescription and, hopefully, a little something tranquilizing for herself. She orders him to get his coat on and get in the car, but he tells her that Imelda will be his lift home, actually, and that her services are no longer required around here. Beat it, qween! Noreen throws his prescription down on the chair and hilariously storms out without a word. It’s OK, I’m sure we’ll be seeing her back on this very hospital set before too long when some combination of Katy, Mack, and John Joe is found unconscious at the bottom of Dee’s staircase.
Tony has let himself into Berni’s place and is practicing the various ways he could propose to her, such as “gratingly,” “boringly,” and “in a funny Donald Duck voice.” In one of his rehearsals he says Berni is the nicest person he’s ever met, which explains a lot about it him, actually. Anyway, this is going to be cringeworthy, and we can’t wait!
Mo, who is actually the nicest person Tony has ever met, arrives at the pub and, after some unnecessary yanking him and us around, tells him the good news: she’s cancer-free! BUÍOCHAS LE DIA! Not just because I love Mo and Marie Bheag Breathnach more than I can even tell you, but also because I want this storyline to be over. Tadhg gestures to the photo of Séamus and says he must’ve been looking over Mo today, and then proceeds to pull a pint for her and, at her request, one for Colm, who had to stop by the radio station to pick something up, which may or may not be Sonia. Colm then arrives, carrying a surprise for her: those pink running shoes she bought herself and then threw in the garbage when she discovered she had cancer. It seems he pulled them out of the bin and has been saving them till she got better. Awww. It’s moments like this we realize we like Colm, in spite of much of his own behavior.
Back at Berni’s, Tony has dirtied every pot in the kitchen in the process of making dinner for her, which consists of a head of cabbage, two leeks the size of his leg, and enough parsnips to give an elephant diarrhea. He hears her key in the door and hides under the counter, because a) women love it when they think someone has broken into their homes and made a huge mess and b) he is a big child, and then scares her by jumping up screaming, “Surprise! It’s me!” This is such a trainwreck.
Vince arrives home, where Caitríona is rolling her eyes and making vomiting sounds in response to DJ Sonia announcing, “And that went out to Berni Ní Neachtain from Tony Ó Boring!” We don’t hear the song, of course, so I am going to imagine it’s something completely random, like Jive Bunny or the Macarena. Vince tries to make conversation with her, but she shushes him because she wants to hear Sonia thank the sponsor…which of course she forgets to do. Sadly, Ros na Rún will have to wait till another day to hear about Discount Cow Suppositories & Sons’ clearance sale. Everything must go! She’s furious, and it seems Sonia is going to get it, but not right now.
Chez Daly, Mack—still on crutches, mind you—is hanging banners and getting the house ready while Dee stands around being pregnant and Katy stands around ordering him to hurry up because this is boring. Snerk. Mack, who is still annoyed with Katy after Dee’s elaborate-yet-brilliant plan last episode to have him walk in on her on the floor massaging Katy’s feet, shoots her a filthy look, while meanwhile Dee can’t praise him enough. This is actually some pretty successful scheming on Dee’s part, though we’re sure she’ll bollix it up and send Mack into Katy’s arms by the end of the month somehow. John Joe arrives home and Katy knocks everyone down to give him a big hug, which gives Dee a look on her face like she’s just smelled something terrible…