Mack and Dee are having breakfast over at Gaudi, and it seems her delayed-reaction anger has just kicked in, because now she’s giving him the silent treatment. Fortunately he is smart enough not to say, “Hey Dee, you’re awful all the time, but this is bad even for you. What’s up?” and instead just says the second part. She says the Mo/jogging situation makes her feel like he’s trying to keep her away from his friends, and reminds him that she’s new to the area (?) and that it’s difficult to make friends when you don’t know anybody, especially when your father is a kook and your sister is even worse than you are. Of course Mo has arrived just in time to overhear this, and sensing that Mack is about to say something that will result in his being murdered, and seemingly also feeling bad for Dee, she brightly interrupts to say she doesn’t think she can go jogging with him today, but maybe Dee could go with her instead? Dee is thrilled, and Mo really is the best, even though of course this will come back to bite her in the ass immediately since the show has decided to ramp Dee’s awfulness up by about 200 percent this season.
At Stately Gráinne Manor, Pádraig reveals to her that David hasn’t been feeling like a real man since being shot in the sausage and two veg, and tells the story about Gráinne’s pilot light going out and David not being able to reach the gas company ever again. Appropriately, it seems this last bit causes a light bulb to come on over her head, and she picks up her phone and calls David, desperate to talk to him. Unfortunately for her, the nearby ringing reveals that he left his phone here when he left, too, presumably because he won’t be needing it in Kerry thanks to the fact that everyone there lives within shouting distance of each other, or is telepathic. Pádraig points out that if David didn’t drive, then he must’ve taken the bus, because he remembers seeing on the news the other day that the cross-Ireland monorail flew off the track near Limerick, and then they had to shut down the teleporter because it kept reassembling people’s bodies in the wrong order at the other end. This pair of infrastructure disasters really sank Ireland’s chances in the Europe’s Islandiest Island competition. Anyway, Gráinne proclaims that Pádraig is a genius—remember she’s been spending all her time around David lately—and realizes that since only three buses come through Ros na Rún per day, there’s a chance she can still catch David at the bus stop!
Micheál arrives and asks what the hell is going on, and Labhrás emerges from the toilet just long enough to say the word “mussels” and then runs back in there grabbing his stomach. Brilliantly, Frances then strolls merrily into the pub carrying the cake she’s picked up from Máire and suddenly looks around at the scene of splattered destruction that stretches as far as the eye can see. Micheál yells at Bobbi-Lee and Tadhg that their stupidity has cost the town the Villagiest Village contest, and you can tell Bobbi-Lee would be hurt by this accusation if she weren’t so busy figuring out whether she could get away with leaving work early by claiming her water just broke.
Laoise has escaped from the polytunnel and runs into Gráinne sitting at the bar at Gaudi being sad and on the verge of tears. It’s a good thing these two decided not to have lunch at the pub today or they’d be on the verge of something else. Laoise asks her if she wants to talk about whatever’s wrong, but Gráinne replies that she better not, because her big mouth is what got her into trouble in the first place, and flees.
Out in the street, Pádraig semi-accidentally reveals to Mo that he had something to do with Project: Mussel Go Away, but feels terrible because he didn’t think anything like this would happen. Mo tries to get details on what exactly he’s saying he did as Bobbi-Lee hilariously passes by evacuating the walking wounded as if she’s a nurse on M*A*S*H. Unfortunately for Pádraig, she deposits one of the star pukers on the bus bench by the big rock and then comes back carrying the bucket full of missing mussels. Mo can’t believe what she’s seeing, and finds it as far-fetched as we do that Pádraig would stoop to this, or at least that he’d half-ass it so poorly, “hiding” the evidence directly across the street from the crime scene in plain sight.
We have a shot of Gráinne at home sadly sniffing and fondling David’s clothes, and then we return to the pub, where it seems the liquid lunch is over. We won’t think about what it smells like in there. Our focus shifts to a table where the boys have resumed talking about how boring football is, and Fia, who’s holding on to the table to remain upright as if it’s a hanging strap on the Tube, is continuing to do shots by the trayful. When Evan takes a quick phone call, she talks to Briain about Australia for a while, and bats her eyes at him so vigorously it nearly blows him off the stool, but then the football talk starts up again and she’s immediately bored, as are the rest of us. Fortunately for everyone, she decides to amuse herself by throwing coasters at Tadhg, who enjoys it exactly as much as you’d imagine, so the guys decide it’s time to move this one-woman party elsewhere. On the way out she falls into Briain’s arms and burbles about how strong he is, and he shoots Evan, who does not like this one bit, an ambiguously alarmed look.
Mo and Dee are standing against a wall in running gear stretching and ponytailing and so on, and instead of attempting to carry on a conversation, they are taking turns having unrelated monologues. Mo is describing the events of Pukefest 2017, whereas Dee is carrying on about how much she loves Italy because, like, they have hairdryers in the room. The highlight is when Mo notes that Bobbi-Lee tried to pick up some guy during the cleanup, or possibly asked him how he felt about her boobs as he was in mid-spew, but Dee is in her own world. Mo basically threatens to leave, so then Dee decides to interact with her by telling her that she and Mack talk about how pitiful she is some, but not too much. Like, a normal amount, I guess. This goes over like a poo in a kiddie pool, and Mo jogs off in a huff.
Fia has been airlifted to Berni’s, where she’s passed out on the sofa. Briain wakes her up to have a cup of coffee, so she comes to life, sort of, and woozily flirts with his crotch, or at least the Briain’s Crotch Metropolitan Area. He goes back to the kitchen to say goodbye to Evan, because this has all gotten way too real for him, and Evan talks shit about how awful Fia is for a while. Briain’s response is that Evan should take it easy on her and be less of a complete pill all the time, because it’s very difficult to be a single mother at age 17 or 24 or however old Fia is.